Response-Ability & Heartbreak

And while we’re on the subject of mindfulness here… if I may strongly suggest starting/keeping a gratitude journal, Kirin. I keep one, others on his Forum do as well. Mine is virtual/mobile as that is what works most efficiently for me. This is a GREAT place to start.. “My career is now more aligned with my interest, my current relationships are all loving and stable, and I overall felt good"... in your own words. You already got this. Let it to be more. What's more just like it WILL find you.

Dear Kirin, how are you doing at this time?

All relationships in this 3D reality are here to be reflections/mirrors for us. This does not mean that there may not be grieving, however, look at what you are grieving about. What did this person offer you, that you are not offering yourself? Do you have a belief that without a relationship, you are not complete? Because, you are! You are it, in your reality, and the rest are mirrors. Holding on to the past, you may find yourself with repeating patterns, because many look for relationships to complete them. But you are whole and complete and the relationship is there to reflect that. Our societal programming, plays a big part, in how we interpret relationships and what they are. That alone, creates confusion and we long for the perfect relationship. There is only one perfect relationship. You, with yourself and then you will meet others on your journey that will reflect back the perfection and love you have for yourself. Sending you love and blessings.

Your question is so important because we are here in this space to begin to walk the talk in our lives. As we do this, questions often arise which give the perfect opportunity to provide clarification, and give new perspectives to push forward our personal and collective transformation to our most authentic selves. Your willingness to participate in the "process" that was in the "Application from the Response-Ability transmission" demonstrates the clear willingness to jump into this all with both feet. You already witnessed, first hand, the clear effectiveness of this simple technique to use your imagination in order to provide a new template to blueprint new actions which cause a preferred belief to be expressed, rather than an obsolete unpreferred belief. This was the perfect first step, and for many, this is the only step necessary.

The thing about beliefs is that they are really a package deal. A primary belief attracts other peripheral beliefs to it, like an atom with its electrons. If the primary and the subsidiary beliefs are in alignment, that technique works quickly. If there is still an incompatibility between these beliefs, we receive an indication, perhaps you could think of it as a "red flag" to focus your attention on things that are still required to be addressed, additionally.

Remember that emotions are your windows to your beliefs. They are also the messengers which get your attention by virtue of their uncomfortable presentation. We tend to have an initial resistance, even sometimes panic when a negative emotion surprises us. But as we learn that they are indeed windows, we will begin more and more, to embrace and even applaud these emotions when they arise because they carry on their wings some of our greatest remaining opportunities for growth and the evolution of our consciousness. In this light, before proceeding, let's first say to you ... congratulations for your boldness to address these uncomfortable emotions and your courage to explore further!

You've already done some of the legwork here by clearly identifying that you are feeling a "cry for help" and are "grieving the loss of him & parts of me." These are really useful observations from an honest self-evaluation. And you're willingness to boldly share these "vulnerable" aspects in a public way proves that you are sincerely wanting to transforming this, while giving others the opportunity to benefit from the very same solutions. We often define vulnerability as weakness, but the flip side of vulnerability, removing the fear of attack, is a deep openness and receptivity. So, let's use that vulnerability to make lemonade out of these apparent lemons.

The statement that you could "lose" parts of a person and parts of yourself is one of the telling beliefs that is presenting itself to you for your reevaluation. We are often brought up to believe that this is possible, possible to be incomplete without some outer work outer support and outer validation, but this runs contrary to the primary belief that "I am already always a complete being". If you run these two beliefs, feeling "complete" and "incomplete without external validation" through the Response-Ability Application Demonstration, you will certainly feel the stark difference, and you will feel some version of the intense emotion that you experienced when you do this with the "I am incomplete and need someone else to complete me" option. The emotions that results from stating that disempowered belief will certainly feel like "heaviness.. the dread and sadness," and these are plainly and understandably experienced as very painful.

It is also really important to remember that the first step of using negative emotions as a compass to identify to negative expressed beliefs, is to FULLY FEEL the emotions, until they completely play out. Perhaps you have allowed yourself to feel this deeply and fully already. But, perhaps when these feelings have come up, they reach a certain intensity, and then you push them back down before fully expressing them. We mostly do this to "protect" ourselves before we understand the true nature of emotions, as arising from, and pointing back to, beliefs. Only you can know this. The thing that indicates that you haven't allowed yourself to feel them fully is was your statement, "I feel like I am guilt tripping myself for "choosing" to dwell on this & essentially is my 'fault', for the lack of better word, for feeling this way."

We say this because guilt (which is the withholding of unconditional self-love) and the assigning of "fault" are usually states of mind that cause one to squelch further full expression of these types of intense negative emotions. And, these are also some of those "subsidiary beliefs" that will also provide supportive benefit to for you to own and transform. In this case, the primary belief would be "I am complete" and the subsidiary beliefs would be "Therefore, I unconditionally love myself," "I always cut myself slack if I get results which are not yet up to my desires."

So, where does this leave us? It's a lot to take in, so let's break it down and keep it simple. Now that you're focusing in specific remaining beliefs, go and play with the Application Demonstration again using only your own beliefs. Start with, "I am not complete and require outer validation to be complete," perhaps infusing it with your historic situation to really muster up the emotion, and REALLY feel how this feels FULLY until it plays out. If it s uncomfortable, double down and truly allow it to purge completely before proceeding. Then, see which actions you've been outputting that correspond with this obsolete belief.

Then, do the same with "I am already complete." Really get into it and muster up the full emotion before using your thoughts to create the blueprint for how those emotions and ultimately those actions completely differ. Then come back here and report your findings. Only do this, if it excites you. This will assure you are of the most conducive mindset to get the best result. Once you report back, there are other possible exchanges to be had ... if this does not provide you with your own breakthrough on its own.

Yup, you just got ... homework. But if you choose to continue with this, let's instead make it ... home fun.

Hi Kirin I feel you. What I found is that the pain isn't from the memory itself, it's coming from the resistance of my present now self to look at it with the new eyes that I already have. . No fault. No remorse. No blame for anyone or anything.

I experienced a situation similar enough to know that as my perspective shifts, the meaning the memory delivers {I assign) does too and with it, the feeling. What was once the worst thing to happen becomes the best thing that happened without changing a thing about it. The situation then (as you sense it was) and the pain of now are all part of the beauty process. It's okay to feel anything you feel.

How that all will play out as it needs to is perfect for you. Feel the pain fully, embrace the searing agony of your humanness without apology for as long as it takes. Sink into a sobbing mess if you need to. You will come to a moment of rest where you can accept all of it, but it might feel like you are in the pit, the gap in the Heart where nothing matters, most of all you.

Within this place, if you can get a sliver of light, a sliver of consciousness in there with you, just by the slightest willingness to let it in, you will feel Love arise. You will feel it. From this place make a willing conscious choice for that Love itself, choose the Love that is both extending to you and from you. Forsake not yourself!

That Love has a mind of it's own and will show you many things including the fact that it is you.

You need do nothing, you do not have to earn it or work towards it, just allow it to be.

The action that cements this into place might be a very simple thing, a gesture of Love, a hug that knows, or an announcement out loud that affirms this is who you are

Your own way may differ but I am offering what happened here.

Negative emotion is always from looking at things in a way the real You (outside of all limitation) doesn't see it. It 'feels wrong' because you literally aren't aligning with Your True perspective on the subject.

When it comes to relationships, we can 'be content' and even happy with anyone, but there is actually only one partner who is truly suited for us and our unique hierarchy of preferences (what we spend our incarnation discovering, and which our soul is in a constant state of alignment with/allowance of). So your soul is probably with you thinking, "you are defining this as a loss, when it served its purpose of making you more aware of what you prefer so you could align with it-- with ME, but when you choose to look back and define anything as being undersireable, you're not BEING with ME, so it 'feels bad' to you, because only alignment with ME/Your true perspective, feels 'good' or like positive emotion (the more intense, the closer you are to how You truly see it/are allowing it, from your timeless state of Being)."

Hi Kirin... While we wait for Elan Interactions to continue their reply, I would like to offer a poem that has been very helpful for me when what I thought was a 'lifetime' relationship was abruptly cut off by the person and all communication ended right 'out of the blue' leaving me at a total loss as to the 'why'? But what I do realize is that they gave me a gift as it actually enabled me to move forward on my spiritual journey.❤️

Reason, a Season or a Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

When you figure out which one it is, 

you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, 

it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty; 

to provide you with guidance and support; 

to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. 

They may seem like a godsend, and they are. 

They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, 

this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. 

Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. 

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. 

The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, 

because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. 

They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. 

They may teach you something you have never done. 

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. 

Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; 

things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. 

Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, 

and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. 

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life, 

whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime. 

Aleksandra Lachut 

This is such a GREAT question. Your bold willingness to share this deeply personal account allows for some really useful clarifications and extensions of the technique in the session you mentioned ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GunHjCXcsf0 ).

We'll be back as soon as we have to time to give this the proper answer that to deserves. Trust the timing. It's always perfect synchronicity. In the meantime, FEEL those feelings. Bring them up again and feel them fully, do not push them down. It's no accident that they are presenting themselves now. You are strong enough to allow them to be expressed and ultimately purged. Feeling them fully is the first step in moving forward and finally transforming this ...

To be continued ...