I am really fresh off a new discovery of something I already knew but now know again for the first time but not really the first time!!
... 4th density speak is really weird bahaha XD.
Anyway, I just had this very integrative experience.
Thinking about infinity. How infinity, truly, is my biggest ever notion of god, right now. It inspires the god feeling in me. The home-ness. The holiness. The expansion. Just how it feels so.... Me. So real. So... Right.
I say this because I feel more and more that I apprehend and feeel 4th density or 5th dimensional reality. I feel it within me. I know it as I experience it.
I feel the lucid dream awakening more and more in me. I feel the sense that this really is all a compact dream defined by beliefs (and knowing at different levels!) solely, entirely, and exclusively. I feel the sense that this reality is truly the most beautiful, infinitely expansive dream, and the many expressions and layers and selves and experiences therein are something truly that I can behold with awe and excitement.
I had a truly expansive, beautiful awareness... How we use the phrase "this AND that"? When thinking of any dual possibility of how to give meaning to and experience something. But the 4th density reality, the really, truly exciting, empowered, abundant reality is: this AND that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that.....
I feel the literal, constant choosing of new ideas, new energies, new timelines and creations that we are doing in this particular focus as physical beings. And how it is just that: a focus. I love how knowing it is one focus amongst infinitely many just enriches it so much and makes this experience even more exciting, even more something to be grateful about.
I feel how this and that and that and that revolutionizes our experience of any creation, any abundance, any meaning. You literally feel the fluidity of existence that 4th density inherently creates. You feel the fluidity of self that says, "I am ALL that I am, I am ALL that is, I am infinity, I am Source." It feels like love... in infinite dimensions. And to focus upon the flavor of love I feel now, and now, and now ~ is as tasting one particular yummy dish in an unending buffet, saying, "I will eat this and focus entirely on the flavors that this dish brings me. I will fully appreciate this while I am eating this meal." Knowing with infinite abundance you can eat it again after you've finished it, but slightly differently. You can go to another meal very very similar. You can eat something that this meal reninded you of most strongly. Or you can go to a completely different area of the buffet, only to come back several meals later and eat this meal with the extra knowledge of the flavors you've expanded into and tasted across the unending buffet.
I truly feel... The meaning. The meaning in all of it. In everything.
And the portal into this experience? Was validating and integrating one of my most absolutely challenging, difficult, and emotionally intense negative beliefs. Actually going into it, being present, self-loving, compassionate, and open ~ with the neutral awareness of what I prefer and don't prefer. And choosing to redefine that belief, to define myself, literally, with intention and love, anew.
I honestly just laughed, and may continue to laugh, that I created something so frucking intense and challenging (pardon the language 🫢👀) . I just couldn't help but laugh. And honestly admire how intense the energy is.
To know the intensity of energy that can create immense challenge or immense, indescribable beauty and love ~ I am.
I am all of that. I am.